Having had the opportunity to serve as a high school wrestling coach for many years, I am occasionally asked what I consider the greatest or most rewarding experience of my coaching career. This was not an easy question to answer. I have seen incredible courage displayed by a wrestler who insisted on continuing in the state tournament with one arm taped to his side after sustaining a serious shoulder separation. I watched a wrestler, who had witnessed his father drowning, make good on a promise to his dad that he would win a state championship, when as a senior, he beat a previously undefeated three-time state champion in an overtime match. I have coached wrestlers who have won four state championships, wrestlers who had undefeated seasons, wrestlers who pinned every opponent, and the list goes on. While not discounting any of these accomplishments, the greatest moment for me occurred when a boy I will call Alex taught me one of the most valuable lessons I have ever learned.
I first became acquainted with Alex when he showed up for the first wrestling practice of the season. I was the head wrestling coach, and Alex was a shy, unassuming sophomore, blessed with only average athletic ability. Because he was willing to work hard and dedicate himself to the sport, Alex matured into a force to be reckoned with on the mat. By the time he was a senior, he was everyone’s pick for the state champion at 123 pounds.
Alex was an undefeated senior with twenty-plus wins and twenty plus-pins as the team boarded a bus bound for a small town some thirty miles away to take on one of our cross county rivals in a non-conference match. On the road, as was the custom, I began to motivate the team by reading wrestling records from the “Wrestling Coaches Associations Weekly Newsletter.” This newsletter had up-to-the minute state records for both teams and individuals. They published records for every aspect of wrestling: most wins, most consecutive wins, most take-downs, most near falls, most reversals, most pins, etc.
Of prominent interest on this trip was the state record for fastest pins. This record listed the ten fastest pins ever recorded in the history of the state. The record had been broken several times during the course of the current season. Each time the record was broken, the wrestler who had been pinned was Jim, the 123 pound wrestler from the school we were scheduled to wrestle that night. We all knew Jim; he was a senior that year and a wrestler, who had been the team manager for the previous three years. Jim had always wanted to wrestle, but he suffered from a severely debilitating disease. Barely able to walk, he had never been able to win a spot on the team. This year, however, the school had no one in the 123 pound weight class, so Jim has been allowed to compete at that weight. It had been a long year for Jim as each time he took the mat, it seemed his new opponent would pin him a little faster than his previous opponents. Jim had not won a match; in fact, he had never made it through the first period. He had been pinned every time he had wrestled. His name was in the record book several times for being on the losing end of one of the state’s fastest pins. Most people would have quit, but Jim’s innocence and meekness, as well as his love of the sport and his pride in being a member of the wrestling team, inspired him to continue facing opponents week after week.
As a team, we could not have been more excited about the prospects of that night’s match. We were confident we could set several new team and individual records that night against a much smaller school with a fairly weak program. Everyone was the most excited for Alex. He would not only remain undefeated, but he would also keep his record-setting pin streak alive and would undoubtedly be the first member of our team ever to make the state record book for the fastest pin. In fact most of us were confident he could accomplish the task of pinning Jim in less than six seconds and set a new state record for the fastest pin ever.
Emotions ran high at the weigh-in. As the match began, they were at a fever pitch. We were not a popular group in this community. As the time finally arrived for the 123 pound bout, we were all giving “high fives” to one another and to Alex as he prepared to take the mat and etch his name into wrestling history. I’m not sure what my last words to Alex were as he left the bench and approached the center of the mat, but I am confident they echoed the mood of the team. I suppose I said something like, “Now go out there and set a new state record and make us all proud.”
As the whistle sounded to start the match the looks of confidence on the faces of our wrestling team must have quickly melted into expressions of bewilderment as Alex didn’t even attempt an immediate take-down. Bewilderment soon turned to shock and disbelief as we watched Jim take Alex to the mat to score the first two points of the match. As the match continued, one by one, the lights came on for each of us as we begin to realize that Alex was not only going to miss the opportunity for the fastest pin, but he was also going to lose the match and put an abrupt end to his undefeated season and his record book string of consecutive pins. In fact, what we were witnessing was one of the most convincing theatrical performances any of us had ever seen. In retrospect, I realize that we also witnessed one of the most altruistic acts it has ever been my privilege to experience.
Chaos reigned supreme as the match ended. Even before Jim’s hand could be raised in victory, his teammates and fans stormed the mats. Before Alex could get back to the bench, Jim was riding atop the shoulders of his teammates to the deafening chants of a more than exuberant crowd. It was several minutes before order could be restored to the gym and the match resumed. I’m sure it was several days or weeks before Jim could wipe the smile off his face; From hometown humiliation to hometown hero in six minutes. I’m not sure Jim’s life ever was quite the same.
On the bus ride back home, I sat with Alex. Before I could even get completely seated, he apologized for letting me and the team down by not setting a new state record for fastest pin. That was a life defining moment for me as I realized I had lost sight of the big picture and placed far too much emphasis on the wrong things. Of course I apologized to him for my narrow-minded perspective and then asked what had motivated his actions. He told me that as Jim was introduced by the announcer, he had observed Jim’s coaches and teammates as well as many of the fans looking downward as if to express their embarrassment that Jim was a part of the team. “I knew right then,” he said, “that I had to do something, and it suddenly seemed more important that Jim win than I set a record.”
Later I had a chance to visit Alex’s home. It was a corrugated metal shack with a dirt floor and no electricity or running water. I understood then why Alex would never allow me to take him all the way home after wrestling trips. He always had me drop him off at the edge of town. I also gained an understanding of why he had such an uncommon regard for the less fortunate; it was because he was one of them. Alex truly understood the principle of gratitude. His unselfish willingness to put the needs of others ahead of his own wants made a lasting impression on many of us. Alex may have lived in poverty in the eyes of the world, but his altruistic perspective made him one of the richest and happiest people I have ever known. There is no question that he had made his teammates and me proud that day.
So my greatest moment in sports has to do with losing, not winning. It has to do more with motive than results. It is a story about an extraordinary athlete who was willing to lose in order to make a winner of a person whose needs were greater than his own. I learned a lesson about compassion and gained a new perspective about winning and losing that day. I’m sure this story is occasionally told from another viewpoint, as the story of a young man named Jim, whose courage and commitment allowed him to overcome severe physical limitations and, in front of the home town crowd, defeat one of the state’s best wrestlers putting an end to a twenty-plus match winning streak.
That would be a inspiring story indeed, but I will always know who was the real winner of that match. That day Alex’s compassion and generous heart won my enduring respect. I was his coach, but Alex was my teacher, and I am grateful that he provided me with my greatest lesson in sports.
- Marshall R. Topham
In our sports and celebrity-obsessed culture, the words “superstar athlete” are synonymous with fame and fortune. What sports-addled kid doesn’t want to be like Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, or LeBron James?! So when a rare opportunity knocks and the sports world beckons to a young high school quarterback, he should just seize the moment, which may not come again, and walk through that door without thinking twice or looking back. Right? RIGHT?
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Clearly in my top ten list for all time great movies. Winner of 3 Oscars! Watch it by yourself, watch it with your family…either way you will be well rewarded. Unless you speak Italian you will want to be sure and rent the English version. 
An amazing true story of the survival of Stephen Nasser, called Pista, a 14 year old Hungarian boy through the Holocaust. Swept away with his older brother Andris to Auschwitz the two inspire and care for each other. Even after death the older brother continues to look after little Pista, his younger brother. Unable to put the book down I found both inspiration and education as well as a profound gratitude for the bonds of family.