In our sports and celebrity-obsessed culture, the words “superstar athlete” are synonymous with fame and fortune. What sports-addled kid doesn’t want to be like Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, or LeBron James?! So when a rare opportunity knocks and the sports world beckons to a young high school quarterback, he should just seize the moment, which may not come again, and walk through that door without thinking twice or looking back. Right? RIGHT?
Nope. At least, not if you are Pine View High School 9th grader and star quarterback-in-embryo Kody Wilstead. At 6’5” and in possession of a rocket throwing arm, he has already attracted interest from PAC-12 coaches and a host of other programs. Even more attention was heaped upon him when he accepted an invitation to attend the National Underclassmen Elite 15 Combine, to be held later this month in Norman, Oklahoma, home of the OU “Sooners”.
As one might expect, the last day of the Combine is probably the most important. It’s the last chance these bright-eyed, aspiring quarterback prospects will have at this event to leave a lasting impression on college coaches and perhaps get a leg up on the competition. Scholarships are at stake. Perhaps NFL stardom and millions down the road, too. Needless to say, it’s a day to be sharp and bring your A-game. Arrange to leave camp the day before the final show? Crazy talk. Utterly unthinkable.
What could possibly be so vital as to cause this young rising star to miss the last day and a half of the National Underclassmen Elite 15 Camp? Well, football may just not be the most important priority in this young man’s life. Sure, he wants to go on and play major college or even professional football but there are other more essential lessons to be exposed to and learn. The Football Combine overlaps with a youth retreat planned by his local church and so he chose rather to be on a plane returning home not to miss his prior commitment. Instead of learning a playbook, defensive sets or assorted quarterbacking skills, he will learn life skills, including the finer points of such unglamorous, antiquated concepts as service to God, service to community, love of family, integrity, morality and honesty, among others. Can you think of any “superstar athletes” that could’ve used some of those lessons?
Hats off to Kody Wilstead! When your time comes I want to be the agent that represents you because you will be the whole package.

John Miner

Having had the opportunity to serve as a high school wrestling coach for many years, I am occasionally asked what I consider the greatest or most rewarding experience of my coaching career. This was not an easy question to answer. I have seen incredible courage displayed by a wrestler who insisted on continuing in the state tournament with one arm taped to his side after sustaining a serious shoulder separation. I watched a wrestler, who had witnessed his father drowning, make good on a promise to his dad that he would win a state championship, when as a senior, he beat a previously undefeated three-time state champion in an overtime match. I have coached wrestlers who have won four state championships, wrestlers who had undefeated seasons, wrestlers who pinned every opponent, and the list goes on. While not discounting any of these accomplishments, the greatest moment for me occurred when a boy I will call Alex taught me one of the most valuable lessons I have ever learned.

I first became acquainted with Alex when he showed up for the first wrestling practice of the season. I was the head wrestling coach, and Alex was a shy, unassuming sophomore, blessed with only average athletic ability. Because he was willing to work hard and dedicate himself to the sport, Alex matured into a force to be reckoned with on the mat. By the time he was a senior, he was everyone’s pick for the state champion at 123 pounds.

Alex was an undefeated senior with twenty-plus wins and twenty plus-pins as the team boarded a bus bound for a small town some thirty miles away to take on one of our cross county rivals in a non-conference match. On the road, as was the custom, I began to motivate the team by reading wrestling records from the “Wrestling Coaches Associations Weekly Newsletter.” This newsletter had up-to-the minute state records for both teams and individuals. They published records for every aspect of wrestling: most wins, most consecutive wins, most take-downs, most near falls, most reversals, most pins, etc.

Of prominent interest on this trip was the state record for fastest pins. This record listed the ten fastest pins ever recorded in the history of the state. The record had been broken several times during the course of the current season. Each time the record was broken, the wrestler who had been pinned was Jim, the 123 pound wrestler from the school we were scheduled to wrestle that night. We all knew Jim; he was a senior that year and a wrestler, who had been the team manager for the previous three years. Jim had always wanted to wrestle, but he suffered from a severely debilitating disease. Barely able to walk, he had never been able to win a spot on the team. This year, however, the school had no one in the 123 pound weight class, so Jim has been allowed to compete at that weight. It had been a long year for Jim as each time he took the mat, it seemed his new opponent would pin him a little faster than his previous opponents. Jim had not won a match; in fact, he had never made it through the first period. He had been pinned every time he had wrestled. His name was in the record book several times for being on the losing end of one of the state’s fastest pins. Most people would have quit, but Jim’s innocence and meekness, as well as his love of the sport and his pride in being a member of the wrestling team, inspired him to continue facing opponents week after week.

As a team, we could not have been more excited about the prospects of that night’s match. We were confident we could set several new team and individual records that night against a much smaller school with a fairly weak program. Everyone was the most excited for Alex. He would not only remain undefeated, but he would also keep his record-setting pin streak alive and would undoubtedly be the first member of our team ever to make the state record book for the fastest pin. In fact most of us were confident he could accomplish the task of pinning Jim in less than six seconds and set a new state record for the fastest pin ever.

Emotions ran high at the weigh-in. As the match began, they were at a fever pitch. We were not a popular group in this community. As the time finally arrived for the 123 pound bout, we were all giving “high fives” to one another and to Alex as he prepared to take the mat and etch his name into wrestling history. I’m not sure what my last words to Alex were as he left the bench and approached the center of the mat, but I am confident they echoed the mood of the team. I suppose I said something like, “Now go out there and set a new state record and make us all proud.”

As the whistle sounded to start the match the looks of confidence on the faces of our wrestling team must have quickly melted into expressions of bewilderment as Alex didn’t even attempt an immediate take-down. Bewilderment soon turned to shock and disbelief as we watched Jim take Alex to the mat to score the first two points of the match. As the match continued, one by one, the lights came on for each of us as we begin to realize that Alex was not only going to miss the opportunity for the fastest pin, but he was also going to lose the match and put an abrupt end to his undefeated season and his record book string of consecutive pins. In fact, what we were witnessing was one of the most convincing theatrical performances any of us had ever seen. In retrospect, I realize that we also witnessed one of the most altruistic acts it has ever been my privilege to experience.

Chaos reigned supreme as the match ended. Even before Jim’s hand could be raised in victory, his teammates and fans stormed the mats. Before Alex could get back to the bench, Jim was riding atop the shoulders of his teammates to the deafening chants of a more than exuberant crowd. It was several minutes before order could be restored to the gym and the match resumed. I’m sure it was several days or weeks before Jim could wipe the smile off his face; From hometown humiliation to hometown hero in six minutes. I’m not sure Jim’s life ever was quite the same.

On the bus ride back home, I sat with Alex. Before I could even get completely seated, he apologized for letting me and the team down by not setting a new state record for fastest pin. That was a life defining moment for me as I realized I had lost sight of the big picture and placed far too much emphasis on the wrong things. Of course I apologized to him for my narrow-minded perspective and then asked what had motivated his actions. He told me that as Jim was introduced by the announcer, he had observed Jim’s coaches and teammates as well as many of the fans looking downward as if to express their embarrassment that Jim was a part of the team. “I knew right then,” he said, “that I had to do something, and it suddenly seemed more important that Jim win than I set a record.”

Later I had a chance to visit Alex’s home. It was a corrugated metal shack with a dirt floor and no electricity or running water. I understood then why Alex would never allow me to take him all the way home after wrestling trips. He always had me drop him off at the edge of town. I also gained an understanding of why he had such an uncommon regard for the less fortunate; it was because he was one of them. Alex truly understood the principle of gratitude. His unselfish willingness to put the needs of others ahead of his own wants made a lasting impression on many of us. Alex may have lived in poverty in the eyes of the world, but his altruistic perspective made him one of the richest and happiest people I have ever known. There is no question that he had made his teammates and me proud that day.

So my greatest moment in sports has to do with losing, not winning. It has to do more with motive than results. It is a story about an extraordinary athlete who was willing to lose in order to make a winner of a person whose needs were greater than his own. I learned a lesson about compassion and gained a new perspective about winning and losing that day. I’m sure this story is occasionally told from another viewpoint, as the story of a young man named Jim, whose courage and commitment allowed him to overcome severe physical limitations and, in front of the home town crowd, defeat one of the state’s best wrestlers putting an end to a twenty-plus match winning streak.

That would be a inspiring story indeed, but I will always know who was the real winner of that match. That day Alex’s compassion and generous heart won my enduring respect. I was his coach, but Alex was my teacher, and I am grateful that he provided me with my greatest lesson in sports.

- Marshall R. Topham

When I was 12, my father had me memorize the statement “YOU CANNOT THINK ANY DEEPER THAN YOUR VOCABULARY WIll ALLOW YOU TO.”
It took many years for the wisdom of that sentence to sink in. There are just over 340,000 words in the english language. Winston Churchill had the largest working vocabulary of any english speaking person that we know of. His vocabulary was over 25,000 words. Recent studies have shown that the average business person in America has a working vocabulary of about 13,000 words. The average high school student has a working vocabulary of about 2700 words. The math here is sobering.

Between 1986 and 1989 I accompanied the US Attorney from Utah, Brent Ward, to 148 Middle and High Schools in the state of Utah. We put on an assembly for each of these schools trying to talk the young people in this state out of drugs and alcohol. Each time we arrived at these schools, we would have to walk through the halls with the students on the way to the assembly. I started listening to the words being used by the students. What do you think I heard??

I was stunned, alarmed, saddened and discouraged. the thought that keeps haunting me is this: Are these the words that our young people are thinking with???

In every study ever done on successful people on this planet, in all walks of life, the one common denominator that came out of every study was this. These successful people had large working vocabularies. They knew their language and how to use it.

There is only one way to build a decent vocabulary and that is to read. READ, READ, READ.

Our young people aren’t reading any more. Why?, they don’t have to. They watch TV, play with mindless electronic games, spend hours texting on their phones.

The young people that will lead this country and the world will be the kids who decide to build their vocabularies by reading good literature.

WISDOM IS KNOWLEDGE RIGHTLY APPLIED. I have just passed on some knowledge, I wonder if anyone will do anything with it?????

Hyrum Smith, Founder of Franklin Quest Company 1981

I grew up in Texas. The driving force in my family was my grandmother, Granny. When I was 10 years old, I had to attend ‘Charm School’. My Granny always impressed upon me that it wasn’t “Lady-like” to swear and whenever I felt the need to do so, I should spit it out of my mouth. So, when I get upset about something that warrants a good swear word, I simply say “Oh spit”. I never say the bad word and I have a clean conscience. I know that I’m honoring my grandmother by keeping to her word. I feel better for it as well.

- Lisa C.

My personal battle with pornagraphy.
I am 51 years old but this battle started long ago as a teenager when my buddies brought pictures that would be classified as “soft porn” today. Sometimes I would find myself losing track of time as I viewed or read pornographic material.  I had been raised by good parents that taught me what was right and wrong. I cleaned up my act after a while and led a good life. I married in my 20s to a good woman. You would think that would be the end of the story right? If you thought that you would be wrong.

Like most people we had differences and we did have some difficulty in resolving some of them. At the time I also was called away from home on business. Cable channels at motels many times offered porn and I found myself pulled back into losing track of time until the wee hours of the morning. Problems in our marriage worsened over time which seemed to give me more excuses to delve into my “problem”.  I would have periods where I would do well and then have periods where I would fall back into the “problem”.

The internet offered the ability to have access to things that I used to have to go to the video store to get, which means I didn’t have to look the clerk in the eye when I was checking out stuff that I should not. That worsened the problem. I then started having even more problems at home, which seemed to cause me to really get caught in a very destructive cycle. I kept trying to change and used a variety of methods to change my behavior. Nothing worked. I began to believe that I was too broken to fix. I still believed in God but believed He was too disappointed in me to ever want me back.

Finally, I cried out to God that if he would just get me out of this mess I would do anything He asked me to do. Almost immediately  I started to feel some relief. My daughter had offered me a book called, The Peacegiver By James Ferrell. It was about how a couple on the edge of divorce, caught in the deadly cycle of emotionally hurting each other, learned to turn to Christ and ask for His help. If anyone needed help it was me. I then picked up another book called Clean Hands, Pure Heart by Phillip Harrison. This was a book about how to use the 12 steps used by Alcoholics Anonymous to get rid of pornography addiction. I used this book and others to gain hope back into my life about leading  a life free of the devastating effects of Porn. It has taken time, but it has been worth the effort. Most of the credit goes to my Savior Jesus Christ. I will make no apologies for mentioning His name in my recovery. Four years ago if you would tell me I would be singing His praises I would have said you were nuts. But it is only through His power that I stand where I do today.

I hope as you read this if you have had any struggles with porn that you take hope in my message. I cannot give you recovery, but I can point out the way for deliverance from the enemy of our souls. If people want  to blog about this I would be willing to give my input.

About 10 years ago my husband and I were concerned that the backbiting and bickering within our young family was going to become an ingrained habit that we would have to forever live with.  We had four young boys and the sibling rivalries in family activities and sports made a perfect mixing pot to produce envy, jealousy and frustration.  The language between the boys, often as one was trying to outdo the other, was fairly typical and I don’t think most parents would have been all that concerned but since it was taking away from our family harmony we decided to intervene.  I don’t know exactly where the idea came from or what the original inspiration was but somehow the concept of “kind talk” was born.  What it amounted to was that every communication between family members had to qualify as “kind talk”.  To discuss, disagree or even debate was fine, just no demeaning, disparaging or belittling comments—especially ones with “just kidding” tacked on.  We observed that any time you conclude a comment with “just kidding” at the end you’ve usually said something that is in some way hurtful…so beware of ‘jk’ (in text messaging the same applies).  At first it was very difficult but, like a small rudder on a large ship our family course was gradually changed for the better.  We first implemented the concept with the boys but soon realized that to be successful we as parents had to lead the way also signing on to ‘kind talk’.

March ahead 10 years and now the boys are older and as parents we are a little wiser.  We were fortunate to have discovered “kind talk” when we did.  Our family now is not without problems, but “kind talk” still prevails and hopefully as my children move on and begin their own families, “kind talk” will be their standard.  It is interesting how one generation can bless or curse the next.

- Kelly Anderson